so explain again why im purple
no
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I got inside last night via doggy door
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
