yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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