Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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