well you can't waste a boner
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
