You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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