Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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