just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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