Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
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