Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize