16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
