Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
