He disabled his match.com account in front of me
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
