even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
