Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
cat food counts as protein by the way
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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