I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
