I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
