I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
