he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
