Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Actions speak louder than pants.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
