I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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