It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
