yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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