if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
