your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
