I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
