O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
