Ambien. No doubt about it.
I smell stomach acid.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
