I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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