Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
