If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
