I didn't shave. On purpose
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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