okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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