All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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