i jhust puked up my retainher.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Farmville is her only friend.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
