I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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