Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
