11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i barfeds in our rink
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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