I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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