capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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