So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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