forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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