Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
