oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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