my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I wear drunk well.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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