dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
