Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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