Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
