My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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