We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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