I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
