burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize