Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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