I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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