You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
