Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
