the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
