He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
