I'm drive I can fine osifer
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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