Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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