When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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