im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize