WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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