I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
