sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
