she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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